Obituary

Obituaries, edition #320

It's with a heavy heart that the Coastal Courier reports the sudden passing of Jay-Katien Stockton, founder and primary operator of Stockton Shipping Solutions, the Planet-famous delivery service. Stockton has bequeathed his estate to his only living relative, granddaughter Dorinea Stockton, who has gone on record stating she will not continue her grandfather's legacy, and will shutter S.S.S.

Letters from the public, edition #321

Dora Stockton is a fool for passing up on this silver platter given to her. She's as wild as a Demon and just as kind. Never indulging in even life's littlest pleasure, MISS Stockton will grow to be a hag on the edges of township, or else succumb to whatever disease of the wastes she contracts. Fool of a child. 

-anon

Letters from the public, edition #322

To sir or madam who decided to write about Miss Stockton last week: i hope you rot in a hole you foul waste of air and food. You ought to sew your mouth shut if all that dribbles out is the pus that takes the place of a brain. Im forced to waste my time writing to this fishwrap, yellow rag of a newspaper in order to simply wish you all the ill will in the world. I hope  your children suffer from the shakes.

-a loyal friend to the Stocktons.

Letter from the editor, edition #323

We have decided to discontinue letters from the public for the foreseeable future.